a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors

Huzzah!

2009-06-07T16:22:46Z

Roger Federer completed his career slam today, which was a beautiful thing to watch. I don't know why I'm posting, except tennis has pretty much held this blog together over the last 5 years-- that and bizarre LJ prompts. There are other things going on in my life, probably more important, but it seems like this needed commemoration.

Writer's Block: There Once Was a Girl from Nantucket

2009-05-12T23:48:53Z

It's Limerick Day! Share a favorite or compose your own humorous five-line poem with an AABBA rhyme structure.

View other answers

OK-- finally something I know something about. Of course, my two favorite limericks consciously defeat the form.
This one's attributed to W.S. Gilbert (of Gilbert and Sullivan)

There was an old man of St Bees
Who was horribly stung by a wasp.
     When they said: "Does it hurt?"
     He replied: "No, it doesn't—
It's a good job it wasn't a hornet!  And this one is from a book I just discovered (at the suggestion of a friend) "Shuffle and Breakdown," by Cody Walker:  A new class of antidepressants Is targeted at adolescents: They lose track of time, Of meter, of rhyme, It's really sad.

Writer's Block: Musical Affliction

2009-04-28T03:27:37Z

Have you had an earworm lately? Exorcise it by inflicting it on your friendslist. Post the lyrics or - even better - a video.

View other answers

Escuela de Calor!

Warning: women are treated poorly in the video. It has nothing to do with the song itself. If you're sensitive to images of men oppressing women, don't watch it. Consider yourself warned.

Writer's Block: A Little Green

2009-03-17T22:17:31Z

Top o' the morning to you! Has anyone ever pinched you for not wearing green on St. Patrick's Day?

View other answers

...I didn't even know this was a thing. Greg did this morning. I am wearing green now. I learned.

Writer's Block: Big Debates

2009-03-15T16:37:48Z

Do you think stem cell research is good, bad, or dangerous? Should it be funded by the government?

Submitted By srkfanatic15

View other answers

Yes, and yes-- and when positive, disease-curing, results prove valid, those who are opposed can choose not to participate in these procedures. The opponents can watch the ill be relieved of physical suffering and go on thinking that those who have been cured will be punished by the Lord. Those opponents who are ill themselves or have ill family members or ill friends and will not waver in their opposition, even to save themselves or those they love, can die and watch those who are dearest to them die. It's fine.

I'm confident that many of the opponents to (embryonic) stem cell research do not understand that these embryos are created for the express purpose of in-vitro fertilization, and that not all of these embryos are implanted. While some of these people may also be opposed to IVF, I can't name the number of holier-than-thous who can overcome their opposition to it if it means a baby for them.

This is a quote from this discussion board on religion/spirituality regarding Christianity and IVF:

"After chatting with another woman at my church who is also TTC (3 years now) she also battles the same thoughts - Christianity vs IVF. She seems to think that providing its Gods voice that your hearing when you use IVF, then it is okay."

True, there's no indication that these women would be opposed to (embryonic) stem cell research, but it demonstrates a certain self-centeredness in this view-- God is telling this woman "Well, normally, I'm absolutely ripshit about the destruction of embryos, but for you..." ? What?

I don't believe in a talking God. I don't believe in a God who is concerned about these matters, who makes "just this once" personal exceptions. I do believe in a force that governs the universe, that keeps things in order, that gives and takes. This other stuff is just self-serving crap. A baby is not a miracle of faith. A baby is a miracle of science. All of our bodies are.

And if we're talking about blocking the use of umbilical cords and foreskins, and medical waste that holds no real controversy and you're still opposed, please stop breeding. Please. For all of us.

What is is your favorite mythological beast?

2009-03-04T03:34:53Z

No, really, I am asking.

Mine's probably the Minotaur, but it might be a Gorgon--
mostly because when Greg just said "Oh, the Gorgons," I said "OH, the Gorgons."

Go!

Writer's Block: More Island Time

2009-03-03T21:24:04Z

You're packing your bag for that other desert island—the one with no electricity—what 5 books do you take with you?

Submitted By mika_uriah

View other answers

FIVE? You don't know me. Ok:

D'Aulaire's Greek Myths and Legends (My favorite book since I was 8, which is totally at my parents' house. I need a copy here.)
The Wake Forest Book of 20th C. Irish Women's Poetry
Inferno
The Collected Works of William Shakespeare
Jane Eyre

My desert island book bag would actually be huge and hold way more than 5 books.

Writer's Block: If Animals Could Talk

2009-03-02T03:30:33Z

If you could ask your pet any question (and they could answer you), what would it be?

Submitted By frisinator

View other answers

Why can't we leave the house ever without the threat of poop, Ricky? WHYYYYYYY?

Writer's Block: Fearsome

2009-02-07T15:07:07Z

The boogeyman, global thermonuclear war, being forced to eat broccoli—there's a lot to be afraid of when you're a kid. What was your biggest childhood fear?

View other answers

Ronald Reagan. Or spiders.

Writer's Block: Conchordance

2009-02-07T01:11:37Z

Who is cuter: Bret or Jemaine?

View other answers

Ok, this is like one of those fucked up "I love all my kids equally" kind of things. Right? I'm not answering this. They are both special.

Writer's Block: Super Sunday

2009-02-02T02:43:47Z

Which is the better game: the Superbowl or the Puppy Bowl?

View other answers

IT IS THE PUPPY BOWL BECAUSE SUPER BOWL MAKES ME THINK THE BOWL MUST BE SUPER BECAUSE IT IS FULL OF FOODS, BUT IT IS NOT. IT IS FULL OF FOOTBALL. THE PUPPY BOWL IS NOT FULL OF FOODS EITHER BUT PUPPIES ARE GOOD. I LOVE MATILDA BEAGLE. I WOULD GIVE HER HALF OF MY FOODS. NO. JUST KIDDING. I WOULD NOT BITE HER IF SHE TOOK MY FOODS THOUGH.

-- RICKY

Writer's Block: Spoilers Below the Cut

2009-01-31T04:36:11Z

Have you ever ruined the ending or given away plot developments in a book, movie, or tv show by telling someone who hasn't seen or read it what happens? Has anyone ever done this to you?

View other answers

Well, I don't know if I have ever done it intentionally, though I do have one of those "spoiler" t-shirts that list every spoiler ever, thanks to Maggie, but everyone knows those spoilers by now...

Also, in response to the second part of the question, YES.

When I was 10 and asked my mom who killed Laura Palmer (because Twin Peaks was just so huge, you know? It seemed like one of those questions you just asked), she TOLD ME.

And I never forgot.

Writer's Block: Robotic

2009-01-25T23:57:38Z

Who (or what) is your favorite fictional robot?

View other answers

Bender Bending Rodriguez. By a long shot.

Writer's Block: So Long, Farewell

2009-01-20T00:06:55Z

It's the last day in office for George Bush. There's been a lot of talk in the media lately about Bush's legacy. What do you think he will be most remembered for?

View other answers

Being the worst president in our history with the least regard for the principles in which this nation was founded. NEXT?

Writer's Block: Back to School

2009-01-15T00:21:37Z

What fictional high school—from tv, film, or a book—would you most like to attend? Or would you rather never go near high school again, fictional or otherwise?

View other answers

DEGRASSI. End. Of. Story. Also, sadly, I am closer to 30 than 20. This might be sad.

Writer's Block: Shops Gone By

2009-01-12T22:32:28Z

Woolworths shut its doors in the U.K. last week, sending many into a frenzy of nostalgia and bargain shopping. What now-closed store or chain do you wish was still open?

View other answers

Bergson's! I miss their shakes in the big wax paper cups so much. They were those sort of iconic 80s paper cups with orange and yellow flowers on them, and they smelled stongly of the waxing...I don't know why, but the packaging of food and the flavor it imparts is weirdly important to me...like how the best pizza in the world but taste faintly or cardboard, or how fried fish wrapped in paper is way better than not wrapped in paper...I'm such a weirdo.

Writer's Block: Morning Decisions

2009-01-11T18:54:34Z

Savory! I mean, sweet breakfast is good and nothing can scratch the waffle itch (that sounds like the unfortunate returns on a vacation in SE Asia), but savory breakfast is the most delicious.

Pancakes are okay. Bacon is the king of meats. KING OF MEATS.

Also, as an example, I am eating pizza and edamame for the first meal of this fine Sunday.

Judge if you must.

A long absence

2009-01-07T15:57:32Z

Well, I guess I don't really post here anymore. Seriously, I remember when I was posting daily, sometimes twice! I don't even know who reads it anymore.

Everything's good! I have no new ways to whine about being lonely!

Greg and I got engaged over winter break! This is an exclamation point heavy entry! We still live in Arkansas, still have a beautiful old-man beagle, and still have a guinea pig who won't let us eat salads in peace!

I'm still writing, though I've had a hard time forming ideas right now. I think my ideas are outsripping my capabilities. This semester, I'll be in a form and theory class, and that should help me articulate what I am trying to do. Nothing sounds musical enough right now. Really, I need to hear more poetry. That should help.

We're starting to get ideas for our wedding and have no idea what we're doing. I haven't been doing this in my head since I was twelve, which is a relief, because I am well away from my princess phase when forming the details.

If only I was out of my dinosaur phase! Jurassic Park 5: Jen and Greg's Wedding!

Not really. I am terrified of velociraptors.

Writer's Block: Top Dog

2008-12-14T02:48:20Z

What kind of dog (counting mixes and mutts) gets your vote as the champion of dogs?

View other answers

I VOTE BEAGLE. ALL 100% BEAGLE ALL THE TIME THOUGH I THINK I AM A MIX MAYBE. DOES THE WINNER GET FOODS FOR THIS? I AM PROMISED FOODS USUALLY AND WILL GET THEM ALL FOR THE RICKY DOG.

-- RICKY

Don't stop.

2008-11-06T15:56:25Z

This is the first time in my voting life that my candidate's won. Even in (inexplicably) conservative Fayetteville (we'd been considered "blue" for so long-- I think the difference in this election was that all of the very conservative young students from very conservative hometowns and churches actually registered), Obama supporters outnumbered the McCain supporters at the bar where we watched the results come in, 20 to 3.

Even when the excitement dies down, remember there's still work to do. As progressive as our country has been in casting the majority of its votes for an African-American president, we've still managed to make lives more constrained for gay Americans, especially in the states of California and Arkansas. So many of my friends say that they feel like a part of the process for the first time. Keep at it.

tresjoliecoco @ 2008-11-02T15:05:00

2008-11-02T21:57:51Z

Please be Tuesday, already.

Nothing big going on here. We're in Obama country, and it's strange to see a McCain/Palin sign in anyone's yard. For the most part, the McCain/Palin supporters are the students-- many of them voting in their first election, their political minds shaped by whatever their parents raised them on, or what their pastors say, or simply to defend innocent human life, or whatever they call it when they think opposing safe, legal abortion is an act of grace.

That or they have some sort of zombie-like drone that has something to do with economic policies, with an unending loop of phrases like "my money is my money" or "Obama is a commie." Speaking of zombies, go here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hyOlBZC9hg

It's not perfect. Not everyone is dressed appropriately, and there's one particularly annoying girl screaming through about 30 seconds of it, not to mention that on a second video there's someone screaming "9/11 was an inside job," which, frankly, I find delusional and offensive-- but there's a lot there to admire.

A conservative poster to the message board called the zombie protesters "[f]oolish college students living off their parent's [sic] money fueled by their liberal college professors, or just simply ignorant."

Speaking of ignorant, I have never seen any group of people so tolerant of ignorance as the Republican party. In fact, ignorance seems to be a point of pride for many supporters of the McCain/Palin ticket.

And this brings us back to the inane backlash over Obama's "spread the wealth around" comments. When Palin tells her audience at her rallies that Obama wants to take THEIR MONEY and spread it around, it's blatantly untrue. These people, for the most part, do not make enough money to be hurt by Obama's tax policies. They can only benefit. So, really, I suppose they can stay off the roads and keep their kids out of public schools, if they're that concerned about it.

I hope, after Tuesday, that I will not have to be angry for another 4 years. I hope that we'll be thinking about how to repair our relationship with the international community rather than how to avoid "waving a white flag of surrender" by prolonging our occupation of Iraq. I hope that we will be well on the road to fixing our economy so that individuals on the brink of retirement can have a chance to rebuild and retire comfortably rather than continued support of the institutions who swallowed their money. I hope that I will be able to count on easy access to high-quality healthcare in the years ahead instead of being forced into another job I do not want simply because it will offer me health benefits.

I hope that I'm not going to be screaming my head off in my backyard, early Wednesday morning.

tresjoliecoco @ 2008-10-26T15:47:00

2008-10-26T20:54:32Z

If you remember the awesomest movie from 1992, Sneakers, but have lost sight of the exact plot-- watch it again now after the unfunny hilarity that we'll call the Bush/Cheney years. Those jokes about the NSA are frigging hilarious now.

Also, watch it because pretty much everyone in it--

Robert Redford, Sidney Poiter, Dan Ackroyd, David Strathairn, River Phoenix, Mary McDonnell, Ben Kinsgley (with the worst American accent ever), Timothy Busfield, Donal Logue, a cameo by James Earl Jones, and last but not least, the magnificent Stephen Tobolowsky a/k/a Douchebag from Yarnton from Deadwood and Bob from Heroes--

is awesome.

Second thing: I had no right to laugh as hard as I was laughing at the "Jon Hamm's john ham" skit on SNL, but I actually had to hold back tears. Maybe it's only that funny if you're a pathetically obsessed "Mad Men" fan, or if your brain is on overload due to the combination of scatological humor and pork products. Who knows?

tresjoliecoco @ 2008-09-15T16:06:00

2008-09-15T21:05:51Z

All talk about how "real" Sarah Palin is needs to stop right now. What on Earth is real about this? No more talk about the candidate you want to have a beer with. No more talk about who could fit in at your local diner. This is unreal. Unreal.

tresjoliecoco @ 2008-06-03T21:06:00

2008-06-04T02:11:43Z

Is Hillary Clinton drunk? Not in that "Whoa, tequila slammers are awesome," kind of way, but more in the "Seriously, I'm cool. No, seriously, I can totally walk over to that sofa. Hey sofa. Soooooo-faaaaaa...You're awesome. Like, seriously awesome. I will make it to you, sofa, because you believe in me," kind of way.

All good vegetable puns start with Lettuce

2008-05-23T17:44:52Z

I have not posted since January, and I'm not uncertain it's not because of Novak Djokovic.

This may prove uninteresting to anyone who doesn't read poetry (though I'm not quite sure why no one out there seems to be reading poetry except for poets), but this is about Simon Armitage, who is nothing to be afraid of.

His poem, "You're Beautiful" (which should be listened to and relished on poetryarchive.org) contains the line,

"You're beautiful because for you, politeness is instinctive, not a marketing campaign."

This poem was one I could discuss easily with my students because it doesn't require mental (or structural) gymnastics, only an interest in how we see ourselves and each other. It's strange discussing poetry with 18 year olds. For reasons I cannot explain (that line always has to end "there's some part of me wants to see Graceland," and then restart with what's really going to be said next), they love Shakespeare, because whether they know it or not, they get Shakespeare in the ways we've all been getting him since the 16th century. Contemporary poetry is a crap shoot. Much of it is too vulgar (there was no such thing as too vulgar for me at 18, but I hear I've got more than a streak of Yankee heathen in me. And I a Sox fan.) In any case, they seem to like Armitage. Some loved him. Others barely listened.

I was delighted to read in Armitage's memoir (if calling it that does not do it a terrible injustice-- it's so much more multifaceted than that) the following passage on John Peel, legendary BBC disc jockey:

"His manner as well is something that sets him apart; most people use the words 'please' and thank you' either through gritted teeth or was is they were promotional gimmicks in a politeness-marketing strategy. But with him, you get the feeling he actually knows what they mean, and actually means them."

As far as I can tell, the piece on John Peel predates the poem by seven years (at least), and it's a pleasure to see the idea revisited, as though it was something Armitage could not stop thinking about and had to find its way in somewhere. True, John Peel is not a woman, but the attribute remains as singular and as important in the poem as it was in its first consideration in the memoir.

...I think I bored you.